If you have $425 burning a hole in your pocket and are looking to purchase some new fashion for spring that will make you look like you’ve slipped on a rainy day at a music festival, look no further. Nordstrom has you covered. The “Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans” are described as “Heavily distressed medium-blue denim jeans in a comfortable straight-leg fit embody rugged, Americana workwear that’s seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you’re not afraid to get down and dirty.”

So… they show you’re not afraid to get “down and dirty,” even though you spent $425 just so that you won’t have to actually get “down and dirty” in them. Mike Rowe, host of Dirty Jobs, took to Facebook to absolutely skewer the pants, saying, “Finally – a pair of jeans that look like they have been worn by someone with a dirty job…made for people who don’t. And you can have your very own pair for just $425.00.” “They’re not even fashion,” he argues. “They’re a costume for wealthy people who see work as ironic – not iconic.” Fair point.

Mazel Tov Cocktail ? @AdamSerwer